musings on a Sunday morning

Sometimes my mind is full and spills out. Sometimes I just sit and stare. It has been awhile since I typed anything. I was uncertain I wanted to continue with a blog. But my mind is spilling just now.

potty training. cold turkey? but furniture gets wet and I'm juggling many things in my life... (should I prepare music for the church service tonight?). How do I stay glued to my special needs six year old. School paras use pull ups for him and take him to the toilet about every 2 hours. I need to do the same. No excuses for forgetting. I'm hoping he will get it by the routine....but I fear early training makes him think he is supposed to pee in the diaper. I trained the dog to pee outside when he was just a few months old. I wish I'd done infant training with Wade.... here's where you pee Wade... in the toilet. But he didn't walk til he was 3.
How to change old habits. Sigh. In my own life too with my poor cooking. Oh you've got to have high frucoste corn syrup on pancakes and french toast made with enriched wheat bread and from eggs whose chickens' were probably not free range.

School will be here soon. Only 4 weeks to go. I will miss my boys but my mind is making a list of all the things I can do when I don't have my kids with me. Drive to Omaha and try on clothes. Babysit for a homeschool mom or two for one day so they can get out. Ah maybe even go to a movie by myself? Don't know. Finally get the house organized. Lose some weight. Walk, swim, visit the shut-ins. Some of this I could do with Zeke but Wade won't sit still long for me. Maybe someday.

I realized yesterday that I had gotten into a negative comparison tearful worrying whining bad habit. I decided to close my mouth and start thinking. I want to see when the good comes. I want to be looking for it. I want to see the good in each situation. To be thankful... hopeful... The picnic table sitting in our yard, the flowering Rose of Sharon bush, the little tray in the bathroom that holds my makeup. The fact that I was able to make french toast with hands that aren't paralyzed. The fact that tho I've had 9 surgeries in 3 years, I AM alive and for the most part I was not embarrassed or hurt..... The joy of getting up early for once and taking care of the cats, laundry, myself/shower in the basement and back upstairs, still time to lie down in my cozy bed in a still quiet house for a few minutes before I hear the kids stirring.

Oh God you are my God, and I will ever praise you. And I will seek you in the morning. And I will learn to walk in your ways. And step by step you'll lead me and I will follow you all of my days.