Behavior and Convictions

Today I took Wade to Omaha for his post-surgery follow-up appointment and x-ray to see if everything is where it should be - heart and lungs filling the chest back up, diaphram closed, intestine staying down. All ok. But Wade screamed, refused to walk the whole time and wanted carried but he's too heavy for me. I question whether I have failed him. Eric tells me I need to be more firm. Last night Wade woke up at 3am hungry because he hadn't liked supper and I had put him to bed at 7pm. I fed him and spent an hour and a half trying to get him to fall back to sleep and then Eric took over and got him back to sleep quickly. "He's got to know you mean it." Eric says. Sigh. I think I've done a lot right for Wade. I'm the one who has taught him some signs tho I need to learn more and I'm the one who asked for an x-ray and found the hernia. But.... I honestly don't know whether to reward good behavior, punish bad behavior and what does he understand. Do you spank a child who is scared? Do you spank a child who doesn't like broccoli or the casserole you've made? I hope I can survive these days without tears and see ahead that my boys will really grow up to love Jesus and have convictions. Several of my friends have grown children who aren't walking with God and I know that they taught and prayed and I've wondered what they did wrong. One friend says she wished that she'd surrounded her kids with more godly influence of others. Well, I do see that church and Awanas has been great for Zeke. He prayed before supper when his Grandparents were here "Dear Jesus, thank you for this food and for dying for our sins and rising again from the grave. Amen." I was thrilled. Now I need to teach him purity and that marriage should not be re-defined and.... so many other things. Yeah, I know.. he's only eight. But a new school next fall and I worry what he will hear and experience when I can't see it or protect him. I must teach him to stand up for what is right. And to know what is right. Help me God. Help us to enjoy the summer memorizing verses and jogging and not in front of the t.v.