Don't Worry. Pray.

One disadvantage to computers is that my entry just now "crashed" before I could post it. I was trying to look up some song lyrics on another incidence of the internet and then both crashed. Sigh. I was just trying to express how I wish I could quit worrying about my boys and trust God to help me raise them right. I'm looking forward to summer and hoping to get some quality time with them to teach them to obey me and fear God.

Here is the original post that I thought I had lost:
I wish I could calm down and not worry. I wish I knew just the right words and the right way to love and nuture and counsel Zeke so that he would be resilient when a girl at school says "I wish you were dead." I want him to know that life is bigger than any of these little problems and that God has a wonderful plan up ahead for his life. I so much want Zeke to "Fear God and keep his commandments for this is the whole duty of man." I so much don't want my boys to be in the public school system. But I must submit to my husband who thinks it is best. Right now the boys are doing ok... Wade is getting a lot of instruction and love... but a lot of it still needs to come from me. There were some hard times in Zeke's class this year with the teacher and his not wanting to read....I so much want school to be over. I so much want to take my boys off somewhere and teach them wonderful things with no phones and no neighbors and no t.v. and no interference and just watch my boys bloom and grow.

I like this song that Larnell Harris sings: "The Strength Of The Lord"
Sometimes life seems like words and music that can't quite become a song. So we cry inside, and we try it again and wonder what could be wrong. But, when we turn to the Lord at the end of ourselves like we've done a time or two before, we find His truth is the same as it always has been, we'll never need more.

Chorus:
It's not in trying but in trusting, It's not in running but in resting
Not in wondering but in praying, that we find the strength of the Lord

He's all we need, for our every need, we never need be alone
Still He'll let us go if we choose to, to live life on our own
Then the only good that will ever be said, of the pains we find ourselves in
There are places to gain, the wisdom to say 'I'll never leave Him again.'

Chorus (2 times)
Not in wondering But in praying, That we find the strength of the Lord.
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One positive note was in talking to Annette and my Mom on the phone today and discovering that my Mom no longer thinks abortion is ok in cases of rape and incest. She had felt previously that it could be allowed because it would be traumatic for a woman to carry such a baby to term....but now sees that people would want to adopt those babies. And Annette, bless her heart for being so encouraging on the phone. I must remember to pray for her children too... all ten of them.
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And oh, I sure like Wade's surgeon. What a nice man. Dr. Shahib? Abdessalam. He called me on the phone just now with some further results - possible scar tissue showed up on this repeat x-ray but we are going to wait six months for a re-take of the x-ray and look at it then. And he laughed with me when I said Dr. Vasa thought the shadow on Wade's first x-ray was "just an incidental finding". He didn't see that it was serious.